VEGAN ROTIBOY!!!!!!

Rotiboy is a delicious Malaysian mall-bakery coffee bun, that I believe were taken from a traditional Mexican treat. They are extremely unvegan, but extremely irresistible when you are at Simpang Lima Mall in Semarang Indonesia, half starved but determined to use the internet. The nice thing about Rotiboy, is you don't need to speak any language, just hold up fingers for however many buns you want, because the bun (with no variation) is the only thing Rotiboy sells. This morning I woke up thinking about Rotiboy. I am going to Haiti tomorrow to do some relief work, and so I made these for dessert after my going-away dinner. They are a work in progress, but it tastes like Rotiboy. The recipe is a 3-parter-- dough, filling, topping.

Dough:
4 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
2 T. Earth Balance, softened
about 1 c. Plain Almond Milk
2 t. active yeast
1 t. salt
Ener-G egg replacer for 1 egg (1 heaping tsp + the recommended amount of water)

Proof yeast in a mug with some sugar and a little bit of the milk warmed, set aside to do it's thing. Sift 4c. flour into a bowl, add sugar and salt. Stir in the liquid ingredients. Knead in the butter. Dough should be smooth and stretchy, not sticky. Add more milk or flour accordingly. Knead for approximately 10 minutes. Separate dough into round balls a little bigger than a golf ball (I was able to make 17)... let them rest for about 10 minutes while you make the filling.


Filling:
1/3 c. loosely packed light brown sugar,
7 T. Earth Balance stick, softened (use all but 1 T... it makes sense when the recipe is complete)
1/2 t. vanilla

Mix the three ingredients with a hand mixer. The butter has to be quite soft, but NOT MELTY. I turn on the oven for 30 seconds and then turn it off and put the butter inside to facilitate butter softening in our frigid home.  Set aside.

So by now, your dough has rested. Smoosh each ball down (about the size of a coaster?) and spoon a dollop (shooter marble sized?) of the butter filling into the middle. If you have leftover, add a little more to each one. Use it all up. You won't be sorry.

Next, close them up. I folded mine in the middle (like a taco) and then folded each side in and sealed the edges, then I manipulated the shape so they were rounded squares. Place them on a cookie sheet with tin foil underneath and let rest for 45 minutes somewhere toasty (again, I used the oven trick).

While they are resting, make the topping.

Topping:
 The topping is THE most important, the original recipe called for 3 eggs, and this is certainly where there is the most room for improvement. Sam claims my only problem was that I didn't use enough topping per bun, I thought it was a little... dry. And less melty in your mouth...

2 T. instant coffee dissolved in 1 T. warm water
1.5 c. powdered sugar
3/4 c. flour, sifted
1/2 t. cinnamon
7 T. Earth Balance stick, softened
Almond Milk as needed (since I didn't put in eggs. Maybe a higher fat milk (coconut milk?) would help with the dryness)

Mix together the dry ingredients, stir in the wet ingredients, use a mixer to whip them up. The consistency should be like really thick frosting. Load this business into a pastry bag or a ziploc with the tip cut off and squeeze it onto the top of the buns right before you cook them. I thought the icing would spread out a little as it got warmer and cover the entire surface of the bun, but it didn't.

Bake at 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes, until the top is brown.

Mexican Snickerdoodles

The People's Food Co-op in Ann Arbor has these pretty delicious vegan cookies in their cafe that they have dubbed "mexican snickerdoodles" because they are spicy. Since becoming aware of their existence, I have questioned the cultural sensitivity of referring to something as "mexican" just because it's spicy, and I'm pretty sure these cookies aren't actually mexican. But whatever, they are so delicious. I found the recipe on the "post punk kitchen" blog which is an excellent resource. I haven't made them yet, so I am not sure if they taste the same as the ones at the food co-op, but I bet they are really similar.

For the topping:
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

For the cookies:
1/2 cup canola oil
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
3 tablespoons almond milk (Or your preferred non-dairy milk)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon chocolate extract (or more vanilla extract if you have no chocolate)
1 2/3 cups flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. Mix the topping ingredients together on a flat plate. Set aside.
3. In a medium mixing bowl, use a fork to vigorously mix together oil,  sugar, syrup, and milk. Mix in extracts.
4. Sift in remaining ingredients, stirring as you add them. Once all ingredients are added mix until you’ve got a pliable dough.
5. Roll dough into walnut sized balls. Pat into the sugar topping to flatten into roughly 2 inch discs.
6. Transfer to baking sheet, sugar side up, at least 2 inches apart (they do spread). This should be easy as the the bottom of the cookies should just stick to your fingers so you can just flip them over onto the baking sheet. 
7. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, they should be a bit spread and crackly on top.
8. Remove from oven and let cool for 5 minutes, then transfer to a cooling rack to cool completely.

VEGAN FRIED CHICKEN!!!

Sam got this recipe from some messageboard he's obsessed with. I swear it's the only good thing that has ever come from it (except a thread about andrew wk conspiracy theories), but the deliciousness of this recipe negates all the bad vibes from this messageboard. ever. we paired it with some garlic mashed potatoes and some broccolini, but seriously, don't even bother. you will only want to eat this.



ingredients:
-1/2 cup TVP
-1/2 cup broth to reconstitute the TVP
-about 1.5 cups vegan pancake mix (the co-op had this in the bulk bin... i literally know nothing about pancakes so I have no idea what's in it... flour and arrowroot maybe?)
-2 heaping spoonfuls of nutritional yeast
-salt, pepper, seasoning to taste
-panko bread crumbs
-oil for frying (something with a higher boiling point than olive so they get nice and brown and crispy... we use grapeseed oil)

Bring the broth to near-boiling and pour over the TVP. Let it set for about 10 minutes adding more water/TVP. Once it cools off a little, stir in the pancake mix and the yeast til it makes a sticky formed batter. Start warming the oil on medium heat. Using a table spoon, drop large dollops of the mixture into a shallow pan of panko crumbs and evenly coat. Toss in the oil (when the oil is hot enough, the edges of the patties will sizzle... test it before you put a bunch in. Cook for a few minutes and then turn and brown on both sides. Let cook on a towel or piece of paper towel.

VARIATION #1: add some spicys and it'll be just like the spicy popeye's chicken.
VARIATION #2: serve with some really greasy buttered noodles with crackers crumbled on top of the noodles and it'll be just like Zehnder's in Frankenmuth, MI.

Apricot Hempseed Bars

I'm making these for my friend and bringing them to warped tour on friday wrapped in tin foil in a tote bag. They seem healthful, delicious, easily transportable, and full of nutrients I probably don't get enough of (omega 3). Adapted from a recipe off the Whole Foods iPhone app... yup...

-1 cup shelled hempseeds
-1 cup pitted dates
-3 cups dried apricots
-some flax seed, raw sunflower seeds, raw almonds, WHATEVER!
-juice from one lemon
-vanilla extract (I'm using a vanilla bean my friend Jeremy picked from a garden and mailed to me from Malaysia... SERIOUSLY!)
-nutmeg
-cloves

Put everything in a food processor. Foodprocess it. Press it down with a spatula into a pan that you already lined with wax paper. Cover, refrigerate, cut into squares and feed them to your friends... aka this scaryass dude:
(photo courtesy of equally scaryass dude Nate Shannon)

squash tostadas

In America we tend to avoid food that's really spicy when it's stupid hot out, but in Indonesia, they made spicy food particularly when it was super hot and humid out, so I'm doing that today.



-one yellow squash
-one large onion (sweet), chopped
-one zucchini
-two jalepenoes
-one green pepper
-the juice of one lime
-2-3 cloves of garlic
-olive oil
-small corn tortillas (2-3 for a normal person, 4 for a hungry person)
-dash of salt
-fajita seasoning or hot sauce or a packet of taco seasoning (I use "the spice hunter" salt free fajita seasoning blend in the bottle)
-(optional) one avocado, mashed

1. In a large skillet (or ikea wok that you stole from ed grant) sautee the onions in oil until translucent. Reduce heat and add chopped garlic, and then jalepenoes. I used about half the seeds and mine turned out super spicy, so adjust accordingly based on how much heat you like.
2. I chopped my yellow squash in finger sizes, and my zucchini in thin medallions. Do that, and add them. Turn up the heat a little.
3. Add the chopped green pepper. I chopped mine pretty small this time.
4. Add salt and seasoning and let simmer for a bit.
5. In a separate skillet, heat some oil and fry up the corn tortillas, about 4 minutes on each side.
6. As the tortillas are finishing, squeeze the juice of one lime onto the veg mixture, and let it simmer for a minute more.
7. Smear the avocado on the tortillas that are now tostadas, and scoops the veggies over top.

SO KILLER GOOD!

NOT FOOD: making my own cleaning supplies

Lately, everything has been grossing me out. I've long since denounced obviously gross crap like antiperspirant and tampons, but I'm getting more and more extreme in my old age.

Tampons and maxi pads have been replaced (for the rare occasion that i menstruate thanks to my Mirena IUD) with a divacup and my "blood towel".

Laundry detergent: a grated bar of castile soap, 1 c. borax, 1 c. washing soda that I'm storing in pickle jar on the top of my fridge.

Window cleaner: 2 c. club soda, 1 tsp cornstarch, 3 tbsp lemon juice in a spritz bottle

For my bathroom I use borax and a sponge to scrub, white vinegar in a spritz bottle to clean/shine.

I'm still looking for: dryer sheets alternative.

I haven't used my homemade laundry detergent on my bag of rags yet (cut up towel tidbits to decrease/eliminate my paper towel usage), and I'm curious to see how clean they get. The nature of coin laundry in an apartment complex makes the whole "soaking" thing rather difficult too.

Word.

Tomato/Basil/Mozzarella Sandwich Summer

This weekend, my awesome friend Jason visited and we made some DELICIOUS caprese-style sandwiches. They were perfect for the stupid-hot weather and we discovered a delicious new fake cheese, daiya brand, at the local-bourgey-chain market near me: Plum Market.

We talked a lot about how important it is to be conscious of what you eat whether it be vegan/cruelty-free/organic/etc, and it really reinforced my convictions as a vegan. Since moving to the middle of nowhere and spending more and more time with my well-intentioned but thoroughly nonvegan family, it's been really challenging to stay enthusiastic about what i "can't" eat.

Being vegan is rad!

Ingredients:
-french or italian bread (we got Livonia small batch local stuff)
-daiya brand fake mozzarella
-a ripe tomato, sliced thin
-0.25 of an avocado per sandwich
-1-2 leaves of fresh basil per sandwich

1. Under the broiler, toast the bread on both sides. While toasting the second side, liberally apply the fake cheese shreds to one side of the sandwich and watch it melt under the broiler... melty but not burnt.

2. Thoroughly wash and pat the basil dry. Tear it up into little tidbits. If you are pulling fresh basil off a plant that you got form Home Depot, always clip it from the top, right above the next row of leaves, that way your mom won't keep yelling at you for killing the basil plant every other week because you kept pulling leaves off haphazardly leaving all stems, sorry Mom.

3. Mash the 0.25 of the avocado and spread it on the other slice of bread.

4. Add tomato slices.

5. Add basil tidbits.

6. Squish it down flat. Cut it in half triangle-ways.

cinnabons

so, this one time i went to the airport when i was little to drop my mom and sister off. my sister was going to a big national champion swim meet. i was supposed to go, but i had a bad ear infection, so my pediatrician said flying might rupture my eardrum. the eardrum ruptured anyways, but i wasnt able to fly. at the airport, i got a cinnabon. i was a meticulous child and i ate the bun from the outside in, saving the inside for last because it is the most delicious. walking through the airport (pre 9-11, so we were still allowed to go as far as the gate) by dad reached down and chomped the last tiny center bit of my delicious bun-- that i had been saving. it's been nearly 20 years since the incident and i am still traumatized by it, and now that im vegan i never get to eat cinnamon rolls.

ive just discovered vegan yum yum and i am blown away by her recipes. here is hers for her cinna-bunz which she swearing are spitting images of the kind my dad traumatized me with as a child. the recipe is really involved, and i havent tried them yet, but im hoping to be able to simply the recipe and repost my modified version in the future.

on a similar but unrelated note: weird al is vegan?

and i wish i still believed my friend when he told me dunkin donuts are vegan. i wish the nutrition info on dunkin donuts' website was still unavailable. i wish the midwest had a delicious vegan bakery so i could eat donuts comfortably and without shame or abdominal discomfort.

celebrity cooking

to attract more traffic to my blog and exploit my friends for my own internet notoriety and eventual fame, the ever attractive and popular liam p wilson, bassist for the dillinger escape plan, is making a guest appearance today. this afternoon, we made a delicious thai-inspired coconut curry.

i was gonna post a picture of liam "shredding" on bass, as they call it, but i don't feel like googling for one, so here he is tasting the delicious curry and looking like a creep.


ingredients:
-2 cans of coconut milk
-small can of bamboo shoots
-2-3 heapings tsps of green curry paste (to taste)
-half a bunch fresh spinach, washed and chopped
-1 sweet potato, peeled and cubed
-one red pepper, sliced
-one vidalia onion, chopped
-6-8 leaves of fresh basil, chopped
-3 cloves of garlic, minced
-shiitake mushrooms, sliced
-salt to taste
-rice or noodles

in a skillet or saucepan, bring the coconut milk to a boil add the sweet potatoes and cook them until soft in the coconut milk. add the curry paste, chopped spinach, and basil. in a separate skillet, sautee the onion in some oil, turn down the heat and add the garlic, then add the mushrooms and the red peppers. sautee them for a few minutes, and then dump them in the other saucepan where, by now, the potato should be about cooked. add salt to taste and serve over rice or noodles-- i like the soba buckwheat and wild yam noodles.

Vegan Chicken and Dumplings

I'm all about midwestern comfort food and I'm so psyched to try these. The recipe looks similar to my mom's... which is an awesome recipe...

http://www.vegfamily.com/vegan-recipes/entrees/vegan-chicken-and-dumplings.htm